Sunday, November 15, 2009

I dreamed I was the bra fairy

Okay, lovely lady readers, I'm talking to you here. I spent this weekend at a Christmas craft festival, where there were many pleasant women with expensive handbags, really nice boots and bad bad bras. If you have ever had a booth at a craft event, you know that it's not only a great place to sell stuff, it's a prime people watching venue. If you aren't super busy the entire time, you end up watching the shoppers, noting local fashion trends (Oh, Vera Bradley must be a billionaire by now), buying patterns (Why do I not make large holiday centerpieces?), and how many children are just allowed to run amok.

The theme of this show was, Why is everyone wearing the wrong sized bra? I have kind of generous boobs, and sometimes it's hard to find a bra that fits, is comfortable, and does the job, but it's well worth the time, money and effort. A well-fitting bra makes you look thinner, you will walk taller, and all of your clothes will fit better.

Here's an article on the ehow website that explains how to find the perfect fitting bra. Even better, your local high end department store or lingerie shop will measure you, and you can try bras on there, to see if they're comfortable and do what they need to do for you before you commit.

One great tip I learned somewhere, I think from What Not to Wear, is that your boobs should end up midway between your shoulder and your elbow. Use those little slidey doohickeys on the straps to pull those girls up proud!

Also, you probably don't wear the same size that you wore in high school, college, or ten years or a baby ago. The size of your breasts changes, so your bra size changes. A great MAB tip: If you happen to find the perfect bra, buy five of them in different colors. If the bra is comfortable twelve hours after you put it on, and your boobs look great all day, buy a bunch. If the bra is uncomfortable an hour into your day, it pokes you, you get muffin top, it leaves bra burn on some part of your body, or it just irks you for whatever reason, bring that sucker home and throw it in the trash. It's an undergarment, not a torture device.

You are in control. Today is the day. Build a bra wardrobe, different bras for different occasions. Make sure to have at least one red, one black, one animal print, one lacy naughty and one nude. Figure out if you prefer front or back closures. (After a bad front closure experience in ninth grade, I have never worn one again.) You can do this. Throw away those sad gray frayed bras that no longer do what they ought to. It's a small action that you can take for yourself.

This concludes my bra fairy public service announcement.


  1. OMG MAB-bad bras are one of my biggest pet-peeves! Seriously, if it looks like you have three boobs you're wearing the wrong bra, ditto if the straps are so loose that they fall off your shoulder. Also,having really small boobs is no excuse to not treat them properly!!! Good job fairy bra mother!

  2. TOO FUNNY! You are so right and when you are sitting at the craft table you are at boob height! :(

    I am overly endowed in that dept. and buying good bras is always a challenge but I do know in this case you do get what you pay for, cheap does work!

    Have a great week, love reading your blog, regards, T. :)

  3. Here here! I wholeheartedly agree. I found an awesome bra a few months back and bought 4 of them in different colors! They've been wonderful--and you're right they definitely improve your appearance and make clothing fit better :)

  4. I agree with it all!! I seem to get larger and larger as years go by (my boobs not me). Anyway I know how important it is to check your size before you go to the store.
    Good blog, bra fairy!!