Remember back to this time last week? When we were racing up on the fantastic, over the top explosion of cookies and presents that is Christmas? The television was telling us to spend money, and wrap up a Lexus in a big red bow! We needed huge TVs and battery-devouring toys and glittery lipgloss and possibly stuff we didn't even know about. We needed cakes and pies and cookies and hams and chip dips and a giant buffet of carbohydrates! It was time to spend and eat and make merry and spread the love, all wrapped up in foil paper! The commercials were screaming with capitalistic joy and refined sugar!
Yeah, well that's all over now. Those decadent commercials have been replaced with these not so joyful and merry ads: Debt consolidation. Jenny Craig. Gym memberships. Chantix. Is your New Year's resolution to lose a hundred pounds and stop those collection calls? Sigh.
I have whiplash over this sudden switcheroo. I haven't even gotten the ribbon off my Lexus yet. There are still Christmas cookies in the kitchen. I'm not ready for New Year's resolution reality. Can't we stay in the dessert line for a couple more days?