Thursday, December 9, 2010

On inflatable Christmas lawn ornaments

I love to decorate for the holidays, and have been known to put up so much stuff that it looks like Santa's elves projectile vomited all over my home. However, I can't get behind these inflatable Christmas lawn ornaments. There are several reasons for my lack of love.
1. Many people who put them up seem to have the teeny tiniest front lawn in America. Then they whap a seventy five foot tall Tigger in a Santa hat right in the middle of it, and it looks like Tigger is going to Godzilla their house.
2. It seems like one of those things you can't just have one of. You start with the snowglobe with the penguin train. Then you add the Grinch coming up the chimney, and the crazed Santa, in with your Brutus Ohio State Buckeye guy, and Winnie the Pooh, and before you know it, you have a rioting crowd of blow up holiday themed dolls fighting their way to the street.
3. They deflate and die. If I were a kid, and I saw the deflated Santa skin slimed across the grass, I would probably scream in horror. Okay, I still scream in horror.
4. They get loose in the wind and attack cars. Trust me. It happens. I once got attacked by an airborn inflated polka dotted whale pool float in a blowing snow storm. Scared the dickens out of me.
Just string some lights. Put a wreath on your door. Leave the giant air filled critters to Macy's.

1 comment:

  1. I agree with you! They are cute when they are blown up, but most of the time I see a bunch of deflated plastic masses in people's yards!