Thursday, July 22, 2010

Blytheaphobia


The Blythe doll was originally born in 1972, with her large, otherwordly eyes and oversized round head. Although she was grooving with the Seventies "Big Eyed Kid" fad, Blythe was not popular and was only manufactured for a year. Then, in 2000, a vintage Blythe doll was used for an ad campaign. People went crazy over her, especially in Japan, and the doll was reintroduced in 2001. Begin modern day Blythemania, and the sinister Blythe saturation of our culture.

I am absolutely terrified of Blythe. Look at those knowing eyes, that unearthly stare. Blythe knows things we don't know. I don't want toys to be smarter than I am. I want Barbie, with her pink Corvette and her plastic high heels. I can beat Barbie at Scrabble. Blythe will wait until I'm sleeping and mark all the tiles somehow. Blythe looks like she might be good with fire arms. Blythe would go all Texas Chainsaw Massacre, if given a miniature power tool. Blythe doesn't want to be an astronaut or a nurse. Blythe wants to eat your soul.

Sure, you think I'm overreacting in typical MAB style. "Settle down. It's just a doll, for pity's sake," You say. But look at them all lined up there, staring you down. It's like Village of the Damned in kiddie couture. That one with the seafoam green hair has homicide on her mind, I tell you. They're communicating telepathically, and they will soon take over the world. We will be their pawns, knitting them colorful tams and tying their tiny mock Doc Martins. Our only hope? Blowtorches, and lots of them.

6 comments:

  1. No creature should have a head that you could fit the entire rest of it's body into comfortably.

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  2. i don't like them dolls
    they scaaaaaaaaare me!

    ♥moon

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  3. lol! I totally used to be afraid of her...hubby still is...but 3 of her have found a place in our home. ;-) Enjoyed the blog post though!

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  4. They're like overblown "Kiddles". Remember "kiddles"? They smelled funny.
    I think I'm more frightened by the whole Blythe craze than the actual dolls themselves, although, now you mention it, that one with the minty green hair does look pretty sinister.....

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  5. LOL! They scared me the first time I saw them! They grew on me after a while. I admit I got sucked into the whole Blythe culture. The cost of the big-headed ones is beyond crazy. But I shelled out for an economical clone doll just so I could say I had one eventhough I much prefer the look of the Pullip dolls.There are no gray areas when it comes to Blythes, either you love them or you don"t!

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  6. Hmmm, the rebel girl in me loves them! They do, however, remind me of lots of scary stories I read in the seventies or high school mean girls.

    More contemporaneously, they remind me of Lisbeth Salander, in the "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." Are there any tatooed Blythes?

    Fun post!

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