Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The philosophical problem of cat toys

So, I have two cats, in case you didn't know. They rule my universe, and I love them like my kids. Part of showing your love to your cat-kids is bringing them toys. Toys are important. They add entertainment, variety and playful joy to a cat's life. If you're a good parent, you get your kids toys.
There's only one problem. My cats won't play with toys. Franklin likes ribbon and string. He was supposed to be a snake killer, I think, because he bashes the string against the wall, like he's bashing the brains out of a snake. Gus only plays with glitter disco pom pom balls, because he's a drag queen. Occasionally, he drowns them in the water bowl, turning the water a brilliant shade of red or green. He went through a phase where he put them in the toaster.
Today, I brought home toys--a feathery doohickey and a mouse. I cut the toys loose from the cardboard, got all excited, and said, "Look, boys! Mama brought you new toys! Isn't that fun?" The cats looked at me with those faces that say, "What a waste of money," and went to bed. The toys are still on the living room floor, untouched.
Am I still a good cat mama?
And maybe there's a way to make jewelry out of them?


  1. My cat won't play with anything. He just looks at you with a confused face. He's always be this way. Although every once in a great while I catch him playing with a dog toy for about 30 seconds. It must be so cool to have a drag queen disco cat! ;0)

  2. Oh, this is so familiar! We've only had our Luna for two weeks and we have lavished her with all sorts of toys from the pet shop. Her preference is for a scrap of tinfoil or a button she found under a cupboard! Why do we bother?

  3. You're so funny! I love the way you write. We actually have a toybox for our cats - literally just a cardboard box where all their toys are kept. Every once in a while they'll fish a couple of toys out and run around squealing like maniacs, but usually they are too cool for toys. Have you heard of da bird? It's like crack for my cats - one of the only toys they consistently enjoy.

  4. Oh, geez, we have a toy box too! Every once in awhile, I clean it out, and give toys to the underprivileged neighbor kittens. I don't know why I keep buying them, but every time I see something new I think, Maybe they'll love this toy!

  5. ohhhhh cats are the best!
    i love that yours put his toys in the toaster.
    megadeth loooves little furry feather mice. pogo digs balls that have bells inside (bonus points if the balls have holes in them so she can carry them around in her teeth). lemmy likes everything he isn't supposed to have -- beer caps, rubber bands, pieces of hard plastic like medicine bottle rings, and TOILET WATER. yep, you heard right.

  6. hahahaha. i laughed out loud so hard when i read the line: Gus only plays with glitter disco pom pom balls, because he's a drag queen...

    good thing the lab is pretty much empty and no one heard :)

    i go through the same thing with my dogs, oddly enough. they don't care for toys much. they love one type of bone and that's it.

  7. Oh I am definitely thinking you should go the jewelry route, I bet you would come up with something very cool :) T.

  8. Try the plastic ring of a gallon of milk! My cat (long since gone) would ignore store-bought toys, but loved the milk rings. Well, at least for a few minutes. Cats, gotta love 'em!

  9. Lol! I have a cat who doesn't like playing with anything and would rather sleep the day away. I know how you feel! Luckily the other one actually plays with most of the little toys I bring home from the store. They're still completely spoiled and have enough toys for 10 cats!!